Research / Feelings

Feelings

All feelings are welcome, and you stay.

These lines tell your child that sadness, fear, and anger are allowed and that you're not going anywhere. They accept feelings without trying to fix or remove them.

The 8 phrases

• All your feelings are welcomeWarm and unhurried, like an open door.
• It's okay to feel sadGentle, no fixing in your voice.
• It's okay to feel scared, and you're not aloneSlow down on “not alone.”
• It's okay to feel mad. I'm still hereCalm and steady, never stern.
• We're okay, even after a hard daySay it as repair. Nothing left to prove.
• I'm listeningQuiet. Leave a pause after.
• You can tell me anythingOpen and easy.
• Feelings come and go. I stayLet “I stay” be the softest part.

The line under each phrase is the tip shown in the app when you record it.

What the research says

• A review of randomized trials of emotion-coaching programs for young children found improvements in children's emotional skills (effect size g = 0.44) and behavior (g = 0.34).
• A review of 43 studies of attachment- and emotion-focused parenting programs (children 0 to 18) found fewer anxiety-type (internalizing) and behavior (externalizing) problems compared with waiting-list groups, with effects lasting at least six months.

How we used it

Lines name the feeling, say it's okay, and add that you're still here. None tells the child how to feel, and none suggests the feeling should stop.

What we don't know

• These are parenting programs that train parents over several weeks. A single sentence in a recording is not a program, and we don't claim it works like one.
• Effects were small to moderate, and they vary by child, situation, and how the strategy is used.
• These lines are gentle by design, but a child who is upset may need you, not a recording. This folder is for calm moments.

Sources

• Emotion socialization parenting interventions targeting emotional competence in young children: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials (2023). Clinical Psychology Review.
• Attachment- and emotion-focused parenting interventions for child and adolescent externalizing and internalizing behaviors: a meta-analysis (2022). Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review.

Review status: not yet reviewed by a clinician. Not medical advice.